I Avoid Facebook Arguments

In social media, everybody has a opinion and multiple platforms on which they can express that opinion.

Now, I will argue with you on Twitter.

Facebook, however ... I tend to avoid arguments on Facebook. Now, I will not run away from a FB debate if someone starts one with me.

But, a few years ago (actually, more like six, seven, eight years) I was one of those people who would start and finish debates (some might call them arguments) on Facebook.

In the process, I had lost some Facebook "friends" in the heat of battle. Some of them are no big loss. If you can't have a reasonable difference of opinion, without someone unfriending you, then maybe you were not good friends in the first place.

Facebook is where a lot of people come for lighter conversations (not all people but an increasing number of people). It's to the point, now, where you see someone bring up something political and you scroll down your news feed a little faster.

These days, that's my approach.

Politically speaking, I've discovered that my friends tend to be split almost right down the middle between conservative and liberal. So, if I post something political there's like a 50/50 chance I'll piss someone off. In my younger days, I would have had fun with it. Being older, I find such arguments not as worth it (at least on Facebook).

Yeah, Facebook is more for the soft stuff these days: family photos, photos of your dinner, quotes from famous people, conversations with kids, sports, etc.

Most of my Facebook friends leave the hardcore political stuff alone. There are exceptions to the rule, but they are just that ... exceptions.

Twitter is a different story and a different platform.

Bring on the Twitter debate.

I'll largely punt on the Facebook debate. Even when you win, you sometimes lose.

Tone Can Be More Important Than Words

How many times have you had an electronic conversation (such as email or some sort of online chat function) with someone and left somewhere between annoyed and pissed off?

OK, how about we break it down a little more? How many times have you had a conversation with a person who had a good point, but made the point in a way that flat pissed you off.

Raise your hand. OK. OK. OK. It's impossible for me to see with all of the hands I would imagine are in the air at this very moment.

Sometimes, we kick a certain type of etiquette clean to the curb like an NFL placekicker on most kickoffs.

This is where the smart ones among us are successful. They are successful where others fail because of their ability to deliver an effective message.

Your message will become pointless if you deliver it with a tone that is: angry, condescending, hypocritical, unnecessarily harsh, etc. Instead, phrase your message in a positive way -- even if you may be frustrated for one reason or another. It's impossible to read body language in an email. So, the non-verbals that are readable in conversation have little to no value.

So, keep that in mind.

BUT, if you absolutely have to be negative, frame it in a soft way. Don't come out blasting at the end of the electronic message. And, try not to end it with a negative. But, especially avoid beginning the email with hardcore negativity. Chances are, the rest of your message will be lost in the eyes, head and heart of a pissed-off reader.

A word to the wise (and, in some cases not so wise). When it doubt, take a soft approach. You'll win greater support than by being a jerk.

My Novel: Playing the Player

This is a novel that I have written in the last year, "Playing the Player." It is available as an e-book on Amazon.com.

This isn't the best novel I've ever written, but it was a fun one to write because of the topics that it touches upon: online dating horror stories, interracial dating and a horrifying act that leads to a novel-defining revenge.

Drawing the characters was fun for me. Creating and developing characters is always one of the best parts of writing a novel.

I've included the book cover for your visual pleasure.

Visit Amazon.com to purchase "Playing the Player" as an e-book.

I Can't Wait To See Chiraq, But I Can Wait To See Chiraq

I've long been a fan of Spike Lee movies. Now, in that time, I've seen some of Spike's movies that are great (Malcolm X and Do The Right Thing) and some ones that, to me, were not so good (Red Hook Summer). I've also watched some underrated films, by Spike (Get on the Bus and School Daze).

That all being said, I look forward to seeing the movie Chiraq. Obviously, the title is provocative. But, I look forward to absorbing the actual messages within the film that many of Spike's movies feature.

As I was taking advantage of my Amazon Prime account, the movie popped up as a pay film. Apparently, I will be able to watch it as part of my subscription next month. I am willing to wait a month, but I look forward to seeing it.

Movies with this level of controversy make me even more interested -- especially when it comes to Spike Lee movies. A lightning rod for controversy throughout his career, Spike knows how to generate some hype -- intentionally or unintentionally -- for his projects.

Bad Relationships, Bad Choices

Many times, you hear people talk about the bad relationship situations the find themselves in at times in their life.

Are bad relationships a matter of circumstances? Or, are bad relationships the product of our own bad decisions?